This morning, another of the confused fogs that I’ve been waking up into more frequently over the last year. Mostly I feel disorientation, with a feeling underlying that, a fearful sense that I am being chased.
I make an effort to hold on to the dreams that lead to these mornings in search of understanding. It wasn’t until later in the day I started to have foggy images reveal themselves.
- a calm tangible darkness like you might imagine a thick soupy fog on a black night
- the awareness of an unseen dreamlike door, not physical, I was only aware of its presence in the way a blind person must intuit the locations of doors
- a beckoning feeling, a reaching as if a hand was waiting to grab me and pull me through if I’d reach to meet it
I’ll post again if I remember anything else yet today.
I remembered an important part of the dream just now, I remember the certainty I had that death would greet me if I were to take that hand. And I remember this strange sense I’ve only had in one other dream. A sense that it was just a little too real to be a dream.
Typing now, I feel that it was something more like annihilation, just ceasing to be. Which maybe wouldn’t be as bad. What if the Tibetan Buddhists are right and ceasing to be isn’t the end and complete separation from everything, forever. Maybe it’s the opposite, maybe ceasing to be as we know ourselves to be is instead the complete reunification with everything, forever.
Life ain’t bad but part of me wishes I had taken that hand.
Rolling blackouts, solar flares, conspiracy theories were tumbling around in my head. Troubling events evince questions in dreams.
What if there is a powerful magic to the world? Carefully guarded by elites, but necessarily so. For this is the power that has ever plundered civilization and created chaos. This power, if widely known, flips the human game like an angry teen flips a board game. What if this magic can find its own way out?
Dragons rest, dream of days and fire, wait to be known again.
What is going on?
Pretty much everything I did on my computer for the last few hours is completely gone. What a strange morning. Especially with all the nutty things happening in the world to blog about. I had a post all ready for you, dear reader, filled with mayhem.
Surely you’ve been paying attention too, though it would almost appear that what happened to my computer happened all over because I can’t find the news I swear I was just reading anywhere now. Just bits and pieces. I feel a little crazy. Like I just woke up from a dream so real that what happened in it seemed like a real memory.
I know I was surfing and blogging though, through this foggy day. I even thought I saw a couple bits of snow, weird for N. CA. Then a flicker on the screen and the lights in my room which to me now almost seem like some big reset switch was pressed over the hours preceding it. Awfully strange.
If any of you have a link to the strange things that were happening these last few hours like house pets freaking out, electrical storms, episodes of hysterics in populated cities, please send them this way.