Tag Archives: death

Cancer is a Lot Scarier than a Calendar

Just about anyone starting in philosophy gets interested because of their fear of death. Sort of a decision to face it rather than fear it. After casting aside the religion I grew up with I’ve spent a lot of time considering the concept of death.

There is no way to be sure if there is something else after this so we are left with only this short existence. It’s the only for sure thing we have. Maybe an eternity of bliss awaits some or all of us. Maybe not. Just in case, I want to go knowing I did everything in life that I could. The ideal death is the one that comes after one’s life is complete.

Now throw in a bit of cancer.

How is one sure to do everything they could with a wild card like cancer?

Before I was diagnosed I knew I could get hit by a truck or SARS at any moment. That didn’t bother me because it’s another unknown. Unknowns by definition can’t be planned for so that’s just something to accept and live with. Cancer, on the other hand isn’t an immediate death sentence the way dying in a car wreck is.

It’s a bit like Death himself taking you by the hand and joining you in the day to day routine. Just a not-so-subtle reminder that you will die, and maybe sooner than your friends and loved ones.

Lost in the Ether

I can’t really say where I’ve been the last 24 hours. These psychological phenomena feel to me so much like a bad high. Dreams transition seamlessly into waking life, waking life gets lost in the feedback loop. I suddenly was aware today that I was drying some dishes and couldn’t remember how long I had really been doing it.

I’m handling it better than many. A couple of my friends are drinking a lot. There is one fellow on my block that knocks by now and then. I think he must be checking in on a bunch of us on the block, maybe all of us. He’s handling the thing really well and we talked for quite a while about what was going on. The tv and internet don’t provide much info, it seems like most of the world is experiencing this same stuff right now, lots of people confused, crazy skies. He thinks it’s a natural event because (I’m paraphrasing him here): “if it’s happening then it’s natural some way or another.”

He must be right of course.

Except…

One thing my mind keeps going to is something I wrote about a while back. Maybe the world isn’t the physical clockwork that we’ve observed. It’s true that it does conform to certain predictable patterns, but what if there’s some kind of tipping point? What if these laws degrade over time or what if it’s some kind of giant simulation that could be prone to bugs from time to time? Or what if it’s all a dream and we’re all waking up into some other world or maybe the dream is all there is and we don’t wake up? The dream just ends.

[photo credit]

Open the Gates of Hell

Overwhelmed from news on the other side. Creeping creeping creeping around both sides of the planet. Something dark and evil this way comes. Something unfamiliar. Take my hand.

L.A. Times:

Natural phenomena condensing to nearly opaque black fog. Once white skies and black ashen debris, now black syrupy fog, white speckled ‘windows’ swirling. Breakdown of scattered reports estimates phenomena spreading from a longitude centered on Asian continent, spreading parallel to longitude. North America estimated to see phenomena last. Source of bright lights witnessed brightening before being mostly obscured by fog. Mental effects worsen, affecting only a small percentage of human population. Basic breakdown of social structures has begun making information difficult to attain, even by those capable of fully comprehending. All are advised to fill tubs for drinking water and stay inside, stay calm. Panicking will only make it worse. We request all readers to send us updates, whoever, wherever you are.